Home Is Where All Your Shit Is

I’ve been wanting to write this post for the last two weeks now, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to even organize my thoughts. Well, my keychain is officially lighter. My home is now with Craig.

The movers came and moved me on March 19. The cleaning crew cleaned my old apartment from top to bottom the following weekend. And just this past Thursday, I officially dropped off my keys and my final check. I was free and clear.

Since then, I’ve begun settling into my new home. Each weekend, I’ve given Craig a “honey-do” list which he has tackled with gusto. From hanging storage racks, to hanging mirrors, and unloading bags of gardening soil. Craig has fully adopted his role as my partner.

And, well, me? Domestic life suits me well, much to my surprise. I make exquisite meals (when I have the time and energy), I take care of Craig when he’s feeling ill, and do wifely chores around the house like declutter the kitchen cupboards, rearrange the furniture, and steam clean the floors. Oh and you won’t believe this, but I’ve actually become really excited about gardening! Craig and I are making plans to begin a garden next year.

I couldn’t have dreamed of a life better than this.

The other night, I was unpacking some boxes of books, one of which contained all of my journals. As I was putting them away, I began to just flip through a few of them, reading some of the entries. There were a few entries written about broken hearts, tears, crying, anger, frustration.

It took a while. but I finally found a man who knew how to love me. And the good thing is I just happened to know how to love him as well.

How I Learned About Love from a Bowl of Crispy Wonton Strips

Saturday night Craig and I decided to go out for dinner. We weren’t really up for anything fancy, just something familiar and cheap. 

We went to Pei Wei in Plano. Craig’s never been to Pei Wei. Yes, I know, you’re thinking, how can anyone live between the years 2005 and 2016 and never go to Pei Wei? Believe me, if there’s anyone who could exist in this world and not do the typical things most people would do these days, it would be Craig. I’ve kinda made it my mission in life to change that. But I digress.

It was 8:30 when we strolled into the almost empty Pei Wei. There were only about 3 tables occupied in the entire restaurant, which was perfect. It gave us time to really peruse the menu. However Craig, in his usual fashion, just gave me full liberty to order for him.

My particular meal started with their hot and sour soup. I love hot and sour soup in general, but theirs is one of my favorites. Within minutes of finding a comfortable booth for us to sit in, the waitress brought me my little cup of soup.

“That looks really good,” Craig said. “Wait they didn’t bring you those crispy wonton crackers?”

“I don’t think they give you those here,” I said. “At least I usually don’t receive them here when I order this.”

“I’m sure they have some,” he said. “Hold on.”

He got up and walked over to the kitchen pass, asking around to some of the cooks who didn’t really understand him.

“It’s ok, honey, don’t worry about it,” I called from the table. I didn’t want to create a fuss over something I was perfectly fine without.

But he waved me off and was persistent. Finally he caught up with the server who had just returned from delivering an order to a table. “Oh yeah, I can ask them to make a batch for you and I’ll bring it out to your table,” she said.

A couple minutes later, she brought to us a bowl of freshly made wonton strips, lightly fried to perfection. I looked at Craig across the table and I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

Yeah, I could’ve lived without them. They weren’t necessary to complete the dish. But they made my soup ten times more enjoyable.

A good, healthy relationship is like that bowl of crispy wonton strips. When your life is good and you take care of yourself and you’re happy, you’re not desperate to find a relationship. But when you do find someone, someone who doesn’t just add to your already fulfilled life, but compliments it in a way that no one else has up until that point, they become like that bowl of crispy wonton strips adding texture and flavor your life would’ve otherwise lacked.

In the simplest of terms, if you’ve never been loved by someone so much that they would go through the trouble of having a restaurant kitchen staff make something for you, I highly recommend dumping whoever you’re with and finding someone who will do that for you. Because it is the best feeling in the world.

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Start Where You Are

It’s a new year, which means the start of a new devotional. While I am not a religious person, I do I love reading a daily devotional every morning because it provides me with something to focus on as soon as I wake up. Last year I finished reading New Day, New You: 366 Devotions for Enjoying Everyday Life by Joyce Meyer, my first devotional. I began reading it in late 2013 so I didn’t finish reading it until halfway through last year. For my next one, I knew I wanted to start in January so that the book would align with the calendar.

I stumbled across Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are by Shauna Niequist a while ago and I knew this would be my next one because at its core, the author wants to achieve the same thing I’ve been working on. “Let’s savor this day,” she writes, “the beauty of the world God made, the richness of family and friendship, the good gifts of creativity and work.”

Awareness is such an important part of living a happy life. I am constantly having to remind myself of this so I like the idea of making this part of my morning routine.

Question for You: Have you ever read a devotional? What do you recommend?

The Ties that Bind Us

It took almost 10 years for Izzie to figure out she could run away.

For most of her life, she’s been on a leash and in a fenced apartment complex. I’ve always been diligent about making sure of that each time we go out. Lately, however, Izzie has proven to be rather obedient off leash, never going too far from sight and coming when called.

This morning we were out in the backyard. It was chilly, so I was lounging in a patio chair with a thick blanket wrapped around my shoulders while reading my book. Izzie was nosing around along the fence line. We knew there was a gap in the fence that she could easily slip out of, but she’s always stayed in the yard. We never really considered she would ever know how easily she could slip through the gap and take off running.

But I guess there was just something in the cool, crisp air that was calling her because when I heard the chain link fence jingle, I looked up and saw she was already on the other side of the gate, heading west down the alley toward the train tracks.

My stomach lurched. I ran toward the fence barefoot, calling her name. When I leaned over and looked in the direction she had taken off, she was already near the end of the alley. “Izzie!” I yelled. She stopped and turned around and looked at me. “Come here!”

She regarded me for a few seconds, but then darted south out of my view. I couldn’t tell if she had turned the corner down the other alleyway or if she had darted into a neighbor’s yard. “FUCK!” I muttered.

I ran back into the house. Craig was still in bed asleep, but I figured I could catch her without any incident so I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door.

But by the time I made it into the alley, she was gone. I looked into yards, I called her name. I ran around to the other alleys. No sign.

I ran back to the house deciding I would be faster in a car than on foot. I grabbed my keys and my purse and I floored it, barreling out of the cul de sac into the nearest alley behind our houses. I thought if I could just find where she went and call her, she would come back to me.

So that’s what I did. I drove through the alleys, calling her name, peering into yards hoping I would catch a glimpse of her small, furry white body.

But after weaving in and out of alleys, I couldn’t find her. How could she have disappeared into thin air? I realized my search would be more effective if I had another person looking too.

I went back home and burst into the house. “Craig! Wake up!”

By then I was already crying, tears streaming out of my eyes. “Izzie got out of the yard,” I said, shaking him.

He jolted awake. “Huh? What?!”

“Izzie got out of the fence and now I can’t find her! We need to find her!”

Within seconds he was out of bed and running to gather his things, directing me. “Ok you get in the Camry, I’ll get in my truck. Get your phone. I’ll have mine. We’ll drive around through the alleys until we find her. She couldn’t have gone far.”

So I was back in my car. The house was along a somewhat busy street that cars tended to speed on. My worst fear was that Izzie would try to cross said street and a car would hit her. I tried not to think about that.

As I was driving into an alley, I heard her familiar bark in the distance. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. She was close enough to hear, but I couldn’t see her. I made a U-turn and turned into another alley, swinging around until I was back in the spot where I heard her bark.

And there she was, all the way at the opposite end of the alley close to the house. “Izzie!” I yelled.

She stopped and turned around. She looked surprised to see me, probably because I was in the car. “Izzie, please! Come here!” I begged.

She came running towards me across the length of the alley. Finally she listened to me. 10 years of feeding her, cuddling her, putting up with her trash-digging bullshit finally paid off. I couldn’t contain my joy. It was like a scene from a movie. I held out my arms and she leapt up to greet me, not realizing how much she had made me worry when all she wanted to do was walk the path she always did when she and Craig went on their “neighborhood patrol.”

“Oh my god. Come here you little bitch,” I said, hugging her tight.

We got into my car and I searched for my phone to call Craig. “Honey, I got her,” I said. “She’s safe.”

“You got her? Where was she?” his voice was raw. I think he had been crying too.

“She was in the alley behind the house,” I said with a laugh of relief.

“Ok I’ll see you back at home,” he said.

I wanted to lecture her. Tell her how awful she was for running away and not coming when called. But I couldn’t. She was looking up at me from the front seat, panting slightly so that she almost looked like she was grinning happily. It’s like she was so proud of herself for extending our territory beyond the yard and she figured I would be pleased too. I was just relieved to have her back safe.

When we got back to the house, I didn’t let her hop out of the car on her own like I usually did. I picked her up and cradled her close as if she was a delicate possession that needed to be handled carefully.

A minute later, Craig pulled into the driveway and climbed out of his truck. He had been in such a hurry to look for Izzie, he didn’t even put his shoes on. He looked just as tired and worn and relieved as I did. “Oh honey,” he said. He pulled me and Izzie into a tight embrace and he kissed the top of my head. “I love my girls. It’s my fault. I should’ve covered up that gap weeks ago. And then yesterday I coached her how to slip through the gate when I went back there to fetch her ball. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” I said. “She’s safe now. Everyone’s happy.”

“Izzie, you little stinker,” he said, scratching her ears. “You had me and your mom so worried.”

I guess in a way, the ties that bind her to me are stronger than I thought. I can now understand Izzie’s anxiety when I leave. She has no way of knowing I’ll come back or be safe out in the world, just like I don’t know if she’ll come back or be safe if she ever slipped out of the yard again. So I guess I know now that I should be a little more sensitive toward her antics when I leave, and also cover any holes in the fence so she can’t get out again.

“Maybe It’s In the Bucket!”

There was a moment where Craig and I reminded me of every couple I’ve ever admired (i.e. my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband, my parents, etc.).

The night before, we were putting out Halloween decorations on his front porch. We needed a hammer to nail little picture nails in the rafters and Craig could not find his hammers anywhere in the garage.

The next morning, he ended up finding one of his hammers in a Home Depot bucket out back and one in the shelf in the kitchen. He felt so silly.

This afternoon, Craig was doing some work in one of the bathrooms while I sat at the kitchen table on my laptop. It was a beautiful day outside and we had the back door open so that Izzie could come and go and we could get a cool breeze going through the house.

He had just finished watching a re-caulking tile video and said, “Yeah I need a stronger knife. I think I have the same knife that this guy is using in the video.”

He went into the garage and rummaged around in there for a little bit, but came out unsuccessful. “Well I can’t find the knife.”

“Maybe it’s in the bucket,” I said, joking.

“Haha, yeah, it’s probably in the bucket,” he said, again being facetious and going out to look in the bucket.

A few moments later, outside I heard him yell. “Ah!!”

He appeared in the back doorway with the box cutter knife in his hand.

I started laughing so hard. “Oh my god, it was in the bucket?! I wasn’t even being serious!”

“Ugh, ‘Maybe it’s in the bucket!’” he repeated in a faux, annoyed voice that made it sound like he had reluctantly been defeated. “‘Maybe it’s in the bucket!’… ‘Maybe it’s in the bucket!’ … ”

I couldn’t stop laughing.

He walked past me in a blur of activity, probably on his way back to attack the old tile grout again now that he found the box cutter. “I love you,” he said over his shoulder.

“I love you, too,” I called after him, resuming my work on my laptop.

Right then I realized there were so many of these small, cute interactions that occurred between us during the day, that I wish I could just roll them all up into a ball and share it with the universe. “See, this is what I’ve been waiting for,” I wanted to say. “And I didn’t have to compromise to get it.”

I didn’t have to make any compromises. That was the important part. And that’s when I knew I had finally taken a chance on the right one.