Milestones

Posted on by Kristine

Craig and I reached some significant milestones this weekend.

From my birthday on Thursday, to Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we spent several consecutive days together. We met each other’s parents and friends. We ran errands together. It was the most significant amount of time we’ve spent in each other’s presence thus far.

And you know what? It felt so easy and natural. There weren’t any disagreements or arguments. We functioned effortlessly like a team as if we had been manufactured in the same plant.

One evening, he brought up something really interesting. “You know, we haven’t had an argument yet,” he said. “I kinda want to plan our first argument just so we can make up.”

I laughed. “Yeah that sounds like a good idea actually. What would we fight about?”

We sat there in silence, both racking our brains about things we might oppose each other on. “Honestly I can’t really think of anything we might potentially have an argument on. I feel like both of us are likely to communicate any issue in an open and mature manner. It’s unlikely we would ever encounter a topic we couldn’t resolve ourselves.”

It’s unprecedented.

Saturday afternoon, we were eating leftover pizza and salad, discussing our plans for the remainder of the weekend, and that was when it happened.

“I want to talk to you about something but I don’t want to freak you out,” he said. “But for logistical purposes, I’d like to give you a copy of my house key and my alarm code so that if for some reason I have to go take care of a delivery and we have plans to meet, you can let yourself in and wait inside instead of out in the car.”

He paused and he looked at me with concern. “Is that ok?”

I smiled. I was ok with that. And so, there we were in the comfort of his kitchen, he removed the spare key off his key chain and he gave it to me. “I feel like we should take a photo of this moment,” he said.

I smiled and I leaped into his arms. I can’t remember the last time I was ever this optimistic. We were official.

 

When You Least Expect It

Posted on by Kristine

“You know… I’ve always believed that when you get this inkling to declutter and purge, it means you’re unconsciously preparing for a significant change in your life.”

My good friend and hair stylist said that to me the last time I was sitting in his chair. “Really?” I said.

He nodded confidently. “Yeah, if you think about it… you’re getting rid of the old and unnecessary things in your life when you declutter. It leaves room for newer, better things.”

Like relationship feng shui. I was unconsciously letting the universe know that I was ready for change.

Even when I sat in my therapist’s office and flat out told her, “I don’t think I want to date right now. I feel like it would distract me from working on me.”

I mean, how could I know what I want in a relationship, how I can present myself to someone, when I’m not even sure who I am? I felt like I got it. I finally had the secret to life and grown up relationships.

Instead, the universe heard my declaration and said I needed to be tested. It said, “She thinks she’s figured it out? Well, we’ll see about that.” So a week later, Craig finds me.

He is incredibly smart and funny, very focused and driven. He’s got this passionate personality–as if someone lit a fire under him the day he was born and he’s been going ever since. We spend hours talking about everything almost every night. And it’s not just him talking about himself, it’s him engaging with me, asking about me, but also me engaging with him so that we learn about each other equally. And most of all I admire him. I know this because when I think about something he said or did, I smile unconsciously.

What’s even better? He’s not perfect, and he’s aware of it.

So, universe, I get it. You want me to know that sometimes there are things I can’t control. You want to test me? You want to see if I can juggle dating someone while trying to maintain a heathy lifestyle and habits?

Bring it.

How Time Passes

Posted on by Kristine

IMG_8133My parents have this live oak tree in their front yard that’s been there for as long as I’ve been on this earth. I’ve walked past it probably millions of times from when I used to play in the yard as a kid to when I got my driver’s license and parked my first car in front of it for shade.

But since I moved out on my own, I really only walk past it on the weekends when I come for family dinner night.

Today when we arrived, I decided to let Izzie off her leash to explore the front lawn and do her business. I was standing there on the sidewalk, watching her sniff circles on the grass when my eyes drifted to the oak tree.

I was shocked at how different it looked. In my mind, I kept picturing it as a fairly young tree despite the numerous times I’ve walked past it over the years. But now it was three times the width I remember and it towered over the roof of the house.

Sometimes your mind can trick you into thinking everything is still the same if you’re not careful. Life can pass by you at the blink of an eye.

Activity Tracker Accuracy: How Important Is It?

Posted on by Kristine

FullSizeRenderIn January of 2014, I purchased a Jawbone UP24. It was a bit of a splurge; $150 for one of the more advanced activity trackers on the market at the time. Fast forward to almost a year and a half later and after one replacement band, I’ve already moved on to the more petite Jawbone UP Move.

Why did I decide to switch? Well first of all, I could already tell that my replacement band was on its way out. The button at the tip was already compressed far into the band and it would occasionally have a tough time syncing.

Only a few days into its usage and I think it’s already won me over.

One thing I have noticed about it though is that it seems to record a lot more steps than the UP24 band. Does this mean my Jawbone had been recording less activity than what I was actually doing?

It poses the question of activity tracker accuracy: when it comes to steps, does accuracy even matter? Or is it more about trend data?

Here is an example: let’s say you took 8,032 steps one day, 6,533 the next day, and then 9,378 steps the third day.

I think it’s more important to note that there was a decrease from day one to day two (negative change), but then there was a significant improvement on the third day (positive change).

So rather than mull over whether or not a trip to the bathroom is 30 steps or 40 steps, I think it’s more important to note the change in how many trips you take one day over another day. Thoughts?

Blank Canvas

Posted on by Kristine

core_values“If you had to write a bio about yourself, what would it say?” my therapist asked me one day.

I didn’t know. I couldn’t come up with anything that I could recite with conviction. And even what I did come up with didn’t satisfy or sound interesting to me. It didn’t sound like who I thought I was as a person.

I feel like I’ve had a breakthrough. That was my problem: I have no direction. It’s as if I’ve just been living day to day: working, eating, sleeping, paying bills, rinse and repeat. That’s not really a life lived. It’s a mere existence.

Something in my head clicked on that day. Whatever passions I have are shallow, material and fleeting (food, sex, alcohol, and shopping). I spent a majority of my 20s thinking I knew who I was and what I wanted, but then all of that changed. Now I needed to find out who I was.

There are a handful of things I know to be true about myself:

  1. First and foremost, I will always be honest with myself and with those that I love and trust. This will never change. Even if the truth hurts sometimes, I know I am strong enough to take it and dish it out.
  2. Second, I don’t want to live my life in fear. Fear plays tricks on our minds, makes us think we are incapable of what we are truly capable of. I don’t want to give into it.
  3. Third, I will always seek to understand first, judge second. Everyone struggles with their own battles. I am not the only one.

Other than that, I am a blank canvas. This is my journey of self-discovery.